Thursday, May 17, 2007

Spiderman 3 apesta a mierda




No se que penes les paso con esta pinché película, teniendo personajes tan chingones, habiendo hecho películas decentes en las pasadas dos ocasiones, teniendo a Venom y a una rubia nueva de no mames, aun así lograron hacer de Spiderman 3 la peor película de este año, es verdaderamente una cagada.

Solo para comenzar sale la pendeja de mary jane cantando, pareciera que te van a pasar toda la obra de mierda, Toby es verdaderamente un imbecil que realmente me provoca querérmelo madrear, les falto de verdad nada para hacer que spiderman fuera un huey con retraso mental columpiándose en los edificios.

En determinado momento cuando le van a dar un beso a spiderman, sale un niño homosexual de la verga que le da asco el beso con la rubia deliciosa, ósea además de todo tenían que sacar el pedo gay con un niño de 10 años, tras el beso se ve como el pinche gordo se guacarea a la verga.

Lo peor surge cuando tras ponerse el disfraz el pendejo de toby se pone el copetito EMO y además de todo le ponen delineador rosa en los parpados, ósea que pedo, la peor escena por mucho es el baile en la calle, de verdad que si esta de la verga se les fue el pedo asqueroso, de cuando aca un pinche enano cuerpo de gollum va a jalar a puras viejas que son 10. Después de eso aun hacen una escena que es prácticamente idéntica a la escena del tango de la mascara, donde el pendejete este baila como tarado sobre un piano, todo por supuesto vestido de EMO. Me cae la población de darketines aumentara con esta película, influencian a los niños a ser emos porque toby es “cool”.

Venom es un pinche débil de mierda, uno imaginaria que seria una madre de 2 metros 30, mamadisimo, con su tradicional lengua gigante y la baba verde, pero no, mas bien lo pusieron igual de ñango que el puto toby, débil como la chingada además y llorando de los ruidos de los metales.
Sandman si les quedo amazing, de hecho los efectos están chingones solo que si la cagaron todo el tiempo.

Resumen: Spiderman obtiene el increíble nuevo poder de usar un traje negro, llora como puta todo el tiempo por su vieja, su tío, su tía, sus poderes, harry, el hombre de arena, la hija del hombre de arena, venom, la guera, la gente, el mundo y la guerra nuclear, al final putea a todos con ayuda de su amigo al que le exploto la jeta con una granada pero aun así lo ama, baila como imbecil mas de dos veces y nos da como mensaje, nunca obtengas vieja ni poder ni ni madres, te pondrás a llorar como puta.

14 comments:

Alexander said...

Ojala al final los hubieran matado a todos para evitar que saliera una 4ta parte!

Mamastian said...

Quien es el de la pinche foto, yo lo conozco de algun lado -p

Luna said...

q tal dragoncito, apoyo tu opinión de spiderman. No se mucho de comics porque soy de esas mujeres "raras" a las que les gusta la luz del sol y tener amigos de carne y hueso que se puedan mover y hablar sin que quepan en mi mano ni tangan un sable laser como accesorio y pilas para ser divertidos... bueno hay algunos "amigos" que si lo son pero el punto es que mi hermano me ha explicado la historia de spider-man y si estubo gacho su lado disco petético y lo vuelven emo como si eso fuera sinónimo de maldad pero tomando en cuenta q peter parker es ñoñín pues el grado de maldad al que puede aspirar es el emo. Venom tiene los ojos muy juntos y es algo chaparrito, como cucarachita... y no tiene barbilla. Harry se ve mejor quemado, menos afeminado pero como que la dinámica frodo-sam de peter y harry vuelve cursi toooodo el final. para películas entretenidas y padres deberían hacer tipo Snatch o Fight Club (la que no le gusta Brad Pitt de loco y broncudo)...

bueno, es todo por ahora Falcor, un beso xoxo

Rorschach said...

la acabo de ver y me quiero suicidar..... ayuda!!!

El Zaiko said...

Batman si es un héroe sin chingaderas de nerd megalómano ni poderes piteros. Es un loco con un chingazo de varo y con eso se la mete a Superman en red kryptonite.

The Dark Knight coming soon, putitos.

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Mamastian said...

No mames, aja, ese guey ni sabe español, pinches spammers de la verga.

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