Sunday, February 4, 2007

ONE RING TO RULE THEM ALL by J.J. Remis

Once upon a time in the middle of nowhere,the rings of power were forged,some of them were given to the Midget Clowns,some of them to the Faggots,and the rest to the race of Straight Men.
There was another ring though,with the power to crush the other ring bearers.
This ring belonged to the Dark Lord Bush.


Although unwillingly,Straight Men had to form a last Alliance with the Faggots to counter the forces of the Dark Lord.In the midst of an almost lost battle,Prince Horshur managed to grab his hated father's broken sword and slashed the hand of Bush,separating him from the ring.

"A GUEVO!!!"

Jotorond the Faggot and Horshur went to Mount Rushmore to destroy the ring,but Horshur had a wicked heart and kept the ring for himself instead.After some time,Horshur was ambushed by a group of Albañiles and murdered.The ring passed on eventually to the hands of the creature Rebbek,and stayed with her for many years,poisoning her mind.
However,Bush was not entirely destroyed,and sent the SWAT riders to seek out the ring.Learning about these terrible events,the Wizard Christopher the Jew ordered the Hodid Froto Penes to take the ring to the land of the Faggots,San Francisco,in order to decide with Jotorond the fate of the ring.

The SWAT riders & The SWAT King

Froto eluded the attacks of the SWAT riders with the help of the misterious Ranger Klutch,and arrived at San Francisco.Disgusted by the several depictions of male Faggot penises,Klutch son of Korch preferred to stay in the shadows,ocassionally engaging in sexual affairs with the Faggot females.While screwing from behind a female named Tania,Klutch learned that he was the last heir of Horshur's bloodline and that he was meant to be the King of Straight Men,who at the moment were struggling without a stud that could lead them.

jajajaja no mames cuando encontre esta pic se me salio un pedazo de caca de la risa literalmente jajaja

Jotorond decided that the ring could not stay in San Francisco,so someone had to take the ring to Mount Rushmore,the only place where the ring could be destroyed.Since no one was able to withstand the evil influence of the ring,Froto Penes was elected as the ring bearer.Also a fellowship was formed to guard the ring:
The Wizard Christopher the jew and his infinite jewish money,The Faggot Marksman Melometenlas,The Ranger Klutch,The Straight Man Burpomir from the kingdom of Bronx,The Midget Clown Grumpy,The Hodids Morris,Pitin and Fatmanzilla Gamgee.

The Kingdom of Bronx

After almost laughing to death at the sight of this party of nimrods,Jotorond farewelled the fellowship and they departed for their dangerous journey to defeat Bush and restore peace to the middle of nowhere.
The Fellowship had to take a very difficult path through a large series of mountains and ultimately had to deviate from their original course to visit the Mines of Ramorras,the home of Grumpy's cousin,Alushe The Midget Clown.
Alushe and all the other Midget Clowns were found slaughtered inside the mines by Albañiles and Macuarros,and also the fellowship was attacked by them.Christopher the Jew made a good deal with them and the Fellowship was allowed to escape the mines,but suddenly they were attacked by a gigantic ancient evil demon.Knowing that the other members of the Fellowship were no match for this creature,The Wizard Christopher the Jew sacrificed his life to defeat the demon.

"YOOUUUU SHAAAAAL NOT PAAAAASSS!!!!"

The other members of the Fellowship barely escaped,and they were shocked by the Death of Christopher the Jew.What would they do without his never-ending wisdom? And most important,without his wallet?

End volume 1

6 comments:

La Pantera Rozza said...

OMFG ROFLMAO WTF, creo que es la mejor historia que he leído EVER... ya espero el volumen 2 aunque en este hay algunas irregularidades... por ejemplo, no se menciona a Arwen-Derín por alguna EXTRAÑA razón

PD.- muy local la historia, muy local

Mamastian said...

LOLOLOLOL

YEAH WHERE THE FUCK IS ARWEN!!!

Lord Klutch said...

JAJAJA si este pedo es local
ARWEN RULES FOREVER
la pantera es un buen critic

La Pantera Rozza said...

La Pantera!!!! Como la estación de Radio LOL y gracias, I do my best XD

Arch Bishop Pordio said...

fatima piut piut piut piut

camelfilter said...

WTF??? LOL